“No somos un ministerio grande, pero sí somos un gran ministerio”

El Proceso del dolor…

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El Proceso del dolor… gotitas de vivencia… A principios del mes de diciembre, mientras hiba a la casa de mi suegra a recoger a mi hijo, me encontr con que no estaba en la casa de su abuela, y mi cuado le dijo a mi esposo que estaba afuera, obviamente el no estaba en la … Leer más

Y a t te da pena…

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Y a t te da pena… Se me quedaba mirando, mientras yo comparta con otras amigas el blog de gotitas y les daba la direccin para que pudieran leerlo…not que quera decirme algo, pero que no se animaba…luego me acerqu y le pregunt pasa algo… me deca veo que tiene das que escribe y lo … Leer más

Donde est alguien de tu familia?…

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Donde est alguien de tu familia?… Lo sbes?… gotitas de vivencia… Un da de stos, le habian dejando entre las tareas a mi hijo, que llevara una fotografa familiar… empez a escoger pero no encontraba una en la que apareciesemos todos, siempre haca falta alguien…casi no tenemos donde est la familia completa, abuelos, tos, primos, … Leer más

Combining Age Groups

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Combining Age Groups by Lois Keffer “A lot of times it’s just a matter of practicality,” says Lois Keffer.   For small churches, it may be the best option. Many churches combine age groups because they don’t have enough people to staff individual classes. Others combine their groups for special events or activities. If you … Leer más

Where Should Children Worship?

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Where Should Children Worship? by Children’s Ministry Magazine Should children worship with adults or among other children? Both ideas are explored.   Of all the issues that’ll get children’s ministers debating, this one has to be the hottest. Where should kids worship-with adults in “big” church or in their own children’s church setting? We asked … Leer más

Home Children’s Ministry Leaders Articles for Children’s Ministry Leaders 8 Discipline Tools You Already Haveby Greg Baird Greg Baird explains how to use what you already know to effectively and lovingly discipline your kids. Darryl, for the third time this morning, gets up from his chair and wanders over to the box of toys near the wall in the classroom. Keeping one eye on the Sunday school teacher, he defies her to stop him again! He knows he is supposed to be listening to what shes saying like all the other kids, and part of him even wants to participate. It looks like fun! But he chooses to test her once again. After all, last time she gave him a piece of candy to keep him in his seat. What will it be this time? Carol stands in the hallway outside her Sunday School class. As she fidgets against the wall, the Childrens Pastor walks up and asks her why shes out there. As she searches for an answer, the Childrens Pastor is distracted by another teacher and walks away. The truth is she doesnt really know why shes out there. Shes only been here twice, and doesnt quite know what she did wrong. She does know she wont be coming back! Jim is exasperated. As he sits alone in his classroom, having just dismissed all the kids, he decides hes done. He must not be able to handle this kind of teaching ministry. Oh, he loves kids, but he cant seem to keep control of the class while hes teaching. Actually, its just a couple of kids, but week after week, they seem to overrun what hes planned, and he just cant take it anymore. He gets up and makes his way to the Director of Childrens Ministry office and quits. Discouraged, he walks away and decides its time for a break from all ministry for a while. Maybe sometime down the road, hell think about getting involved in some other ministry. Can you relate to any of these scenarios? None of them are what any of us want in our ministry, but in childrens ministry, discipline is an issue that each of us must deal with. It can be one of the most challenging and frustrating. Not only for leaders, but for kids, too! In order to effectively minister, we must understand the issue of discipline and be able to use it effectively. Ephesians 6:4 says, And now a word to you fathers. Dont make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord. Paul tells us that fathers are to be careful how their kids are brought up. Specifically, fathers are not to frustrate or anger their kids by the way they are disciplined and instructed. Rather, use techniques and ways that are approved by the Lord. In other words, discipline and instruct in ways that are appropriate, that are effective, and that honor God. While this verse is specifically spoken to fathers, the principle of effective discipline and instruction can be applied further, including to childrens ministry. How do we discipline in childrens ministry? We can try bribes or embarrassing children or blowing our stack, and we might get immediate results that we are looking for. But is that discipline? Is that appropriate and truly accomplishing what discipline should be disciple making? No. In the end, it is not instructing effectively; it is manipulating, punishing, or simply getting our way. True discipline is, in reality, a continuation of our efforts to instruct. The difference, in most cases, is that the opportunity is generated by a childs misbehavior instead of a planned teaching situation. Regardless of when it occurs, however, most of us find it a challenge to do, or at least to do effectively! But we all possess tools available to us to allow us to instruct in situations where discipline is necessary. These are tools that require no props, no equipment, and no preparation (except a little practice!) they are tools we already have! With these tools, we use discipline as an opportunity to I.N.S.T.R.U.C.T! Infectious enthusiasm Enthusiasm, as a discipline tool? You bet! As the leader of the class, we set the tone. How do you think kids respond when we are not excited about what we are teaching? Of course, they will not be excited either. Why should they be? But if we have enthusiasm and let it show, we can fully expect it to be contagious. This can be a deterrent to misbehavior right from the start, but it can also curtail it if it creeps in. Take for example, little Johnny is getting a little restless in class and starting to misbehave. As the teacher begins to notice this, a change of activity with an extra dose of enthusiasm can go a long way toward redirecting and reigniting little Johnnys interest in whats happening. Discipline takes place without any kind of confrontation and leads to instruction. Natural consequences Natural consequences can bring kids into step really fast. Youve let everyone know that the class can have extra game time only when the lesson is complete, but Mary doesnt seem to be keeping this in mind. A quick reminder to the class in general will usually lead to other kids reminding Mary (natural consequences) of what she might be costing the class. Natural consequences might include not being able to answer a question because some kids havent been paying attention. It might mean missing a favorite activity because they chose to misbehave instead of following the guidelines. Or it might be simply being separated from their best friend when they cant seem to pay attention to whats going on in the class. Silence As the presentation rolls on, you lean over to make a comment to your friend next to you. The noise of whats happening is loud enough that you speak in a normal speaking voice. But, just as you begin to speak, the noise stops, and youre caught making your comment to everyone! Youve had it happen before, havent you? And how did you feel? Slightly embarrassed? A little silly? Silence seems to highlight activity that really isnt appropriate for the time, doesnt it? Now embarrassing a child or making them feel silly isnt our goal, but simply being silent can go a long way toward bringing kids back into line. Sometimes, when I teach our kids church (which I try to do with a lot of enthusiasm!), Ill simply stop talking. Kids realize something isnt right, and they pay special attention even the ones who havent been paying attention. When they all focus on what they should be focused on, I simply begin instructing again. Silence can also be effective in dealing with other situations. Last Wednesday, when I saw a kid trying to hide a handful of candy, I walked over and asked him what he had in his hand and patiently waited. He looked at me and said, Nothing, to which I simply smiled and kept silent. As he thought about what was going on and realized I wasnt going to accept that answer, he finally told me that he had borrowed the candy from a room that he wasnt supposed to be in. I asked if he believed that was his candy to take, and he answered, I dont know. Again, silence. He did know, and I wanted to give him a chance to think about what he was telling me. After a minute or two, he simply held the candy out for me to take and said, No and Im sorry. A quick high five and a reassuring Jesus is smiling because you did the right thing, and we were on our way. Silence can be used to instruct very well! Touch As I led the music time for kids’ church, a friend of my 8-year-old son, Taylor, was trying hard to distract him. Poking him in the side, blowing on his face, and telling little boy jokes were having no effect (I was really proud of my son!), but I knew it was probably only a matter of time until Taylor responded. So, still playing and singing, I meandered over to where the boys sat. As everyone continued to sing (including me!), I simply reached out and gently squeezed my sons friend on the shoulder. He hadnt seen me coming, and as he whipped his head around, I could tell I had made my point. Without embarrassing him, I had communicated the importance of what we were doing. He started paying attention, and within a few minutes, he had joined in the upbeat singing and all the motions that all the other kids were involved with. Physical touch can be used in a variety of ways (always being careful to be appropriate, of course). This might include a firm but gentle grip on the shoulder as you speak wisdom (ok, discipline) into a childs life. Or you might use an open hand on the back to gently steer a child back to walking in the right direction as they try to veer off into the land of misbehavior! High fives, pats on the head, and side-hugs can all be used to build a relationship, which is the cornerstone of effective instruction. Reasonable expectations Our expectations of a childs behavior must be reasonable. Kids are kids and are not capable of behaving in an adult manner. As we instruct, we must keep this in mind. A good general rule of thumb is that kids have about one minute of attention span for every year of their age. When that time is up, its time to move on to a new activity. Active learning and reasonable expectations of behavior are important parts of the process. At a church I served at, one of my preschool teachers came to the department coordinator after the service and said she was frustrated with the boys in her class. She mentioned that these 4 and 5 year olds were just so rowdy and energetic, and she had a hard time controlling them. When the coordinator observed her class the following week, she discovered a youth volunteer who initiated wrestling time with the kids. The expectation of the kids was that it was a time for wrestling which, unfortunately, extended into all other times of the class. My coordinator suggested that, instead of wrestling, the youth volunteer could be more helpful by sitting and doing other activities with the kids, like using play dough to create a scene from the story that was to be told. When this was done, the boys in the class immediately calmed down, and the entire class time was transformed! Understanding Closely connected with reasonable expectations is a clear understanding of why kids might misbehave. There are lots of reasons, but understanding some of the more common ones and addressing them helps us meet the needs that a child might be expressing through their misbehavior. When we address these needs, discipline usually is taken care of, and environment conducive to instruction is restored. Clear guidelines or boundaries Though kids are notorious for pushing the limits of our boundaries, they are usually just doing one of two things: first, they are trying to figure out where the boundaries are, and second, they are seeing just how serious we are about them. Providing clear guidelines for your class is important. If kids dont know what they can or cannot do, how can we reasonably expect them to obey? Each week in one of our programs, we review the guidelines, trying to put a fun spin or two on them. But, simply put, the guidelines we give are: Pay attention you might miss something important! Participate we want you to be part of the group, and what you contribute is important to us. Put your hand up we want to hear what you have to say its important but we cant hear if everyone just speaks out of turn. Of course, when we give guidelines, we must follow through on our part, like providing something worth paying attention to, giving them well-prepared activities worthy of their participation, and giving them a chance to speak when they put their hand up. Turn it over The single greatest tool that we have that leads to instruction is the ability to turn it over to our Father in heaven! I saw this dramatically illustrated early in my ministry with a boy named Adrian. Adrian was nothing but trouble when it came to his behavior. Of course, when I discovered what his home life was like, I understood, but that didnt help in the classroom. Nothing seemed to work! No matter what, our teachers dreaded seeing Adrian dropped off on Sunday morning. After trying everything we thought we knew how to do, we decided to simply pray. The teachers and I made a covenant to pray for Adrian every day and to ask God not only to do a work in his life, but to do a work in ours. So we prayed, and after only two weeks, we began seeing a difference in !drians life something was happening! On the third Sunday, as I was cleaning up after church, Adrian quietly came in behind me and, in almost a whisper, said, Pastor Greg, I want to say Im sorry. Once I picked myself up off the floor and composed myself, I asked him what he wanted to apologize for. Again in a very quiet voice, he said, For all the things Ive done to hurt Jesus and for all the things Ive done to hurt others. As I bit my lip to hold back the tears, I had the wonderful privilege of sharing the gospel and leading Adrian to Christ that day and seeing a life transformed. Over the next few months, as part of our church family, Adrian became a leader in the Sunday school because of his behavior. We must be praying for our kids. Prayer is practical! Prayer should be as much a part of our preparation and presentation as any other component. And prayer can dramatically affect our discipline (instructing) situations. Prayer also changes our hearts, increasing patience, compassion, and understanding in all of our teaching efforts. As we seek to discipline the kids God has blessed with, let us also seek to instruct them. These tools, which all of us possess and can refine with a little practice, can be a great starting point. Some Reasons Why Kids Misbehave Include: Because they are kids! Proverbs 22:15 (NLT), says A youngsters heart is filled with foolishness Enough said! Because they have not received clear guidelines or boundaries kids need guidelines, and even want them. Without them, insecurity creeps in, which often leads to misbehavior. Because they are bored when we teach inappropriately (lecturing, not age-appropriate, inactively, etc.), kids get bored. Boredom leads to misbehavior as they try to find something to engage their mind. Because of outside issues I put these issues in four categories: o Hunger some kids come to church hungry. They either didnt eat enough, or they didnt eat nutritional food before arriving. o Health parents will often drop off kids that should be home in bed! o Home some kids deal with so much at home that it inevitably comes out in their behavior. o Helplessness kids often just dont know how to deal with things that happen, be it the death of a pet or being bullied at school. This helplessness can lead to misbehavior.

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8 Discipline Tools You Already Have by Greg Baird Greg Baird explains how to use what you already know to effectively and lovingly discipline your kids. Darryl, for the third time this morning, gets up from his chair and wanders over to the box of toys near the wall in the classroom. Keeping one eye … Leer más

Guiding Childrens Behavior

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Guiding Childrens Behavior Use this easy model to remember how to manage your children’s behavior in your classroom.   One of the most challenging aspects of childrens ministry can be dealing with childrens behavior. For some children, their behavior is never an issue. They come in, sit down, participate, and do everything you, the worship … Leer más

Answering Childrens Questions

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Answering Childrens Questions by Landry Holmes Here are some helpful guidelines to prepare yourself for the questions children are always asking.   If experience is a qualification, then I ought to be a certified expert on answering childrens questions. As the parent of two teenagers, I mistakenly thought that my days of answering endless inquires … Leer más

Teaching Kids to Be Amazed

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Teaching Kids to Be Amazed by Kristen White Get a child wrapped up in wonder, and they will worship their Creator.   As we were waiting for the amusement park ride, my 10-year-old son said, Mom, you have to hurry to get a seat when its our turn. Why? I asked, since we were at … Leer más